Five things you could buy on Amazon—if you are a total knucklehead.
Amazon.com is the new home of the weird, the creepy and the profane!
It’s like the Wild West out there. We independent book sellers moved in and did all the dirty work, setting up product pages, building links, enslaving the indigenous population—And soon giant agribusinesses, listing strip miners, and Big Lot department stores moved in, crowding the little guys out.
Lately, Amazon’s tried to reign in the small-time-sellers without infringing too much on the rights of their favored corporate sellers. That can only lead to one thing—Digital Anarchy!
Here are five intriguing examples of the ways Amazon sellers and buyers are dealing with encroaching marginalization.
A $38 dead skinned bunny rabbit? Anyone see Roman Polanski’s “Replusion“? Please, please, please—I beg you—scroll down and read the customer reviews. You will not be sorry. For example:
These are NOT alive!, August 24, 2009
By P. Breakfield IV “Tom”
I’ll keep this short and sweet. We ordered one of these rabbits for our children this Easter and boy what a surprise. It is NOT a living rabbit. Someone has killed this rabbit and skinned it, I suppose for eating. Anyway, our children were traumatized and Easter is not the same holiday that it used to be for us. On the upside, we don’t have to fill their Easter baskets anymore as we told them the Easter bunny was killed by Amazon.
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
1 new from $19,999.95.* Carries cargo or a crew of up to five internally or on the roof.
* Piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch.
* 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, top speed 40 mph.
* Includes head/tail and turn signal lights, trim and underbody lighting.
* 400 watt premium sound with PA system, plush interior, and external camera.‘Nuff Said.
Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz, $67.99 – $2499.99. Well, to be honest, if you buy the $2499.99 edition, the seller “will hand deliver, then come in and make you a Tiramisu with product in your kitchen.” Value added!
Uranium Ore In stock. Price 29.99, 1 used from $2,499.00.
Product Description: “Radioactive sample of uranium ore. Useful for testing Geiger Counters. License exempt. Uranium ore sample sizes vary. Shipped in labeled metal container as shown. Shipping Information: We are always in compliance with Section 13 from part 40 of the NRC Nuclear Regulatory Commission rules and regulations and Postal Service regulations specified in 49 CFR 173.421 for activity limits of low level radioactive materials. Item will be shipped in accordance with Postal Service activity limits specified in Publication 52. Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.
Doesn’t that just beg a review like this:
3.0 out of 5 stars Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009
By Patrick J. McGovern “Procrastinating Evil Scientist (Hollowed Out Volcano Lair)
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
Elvis not included: 10×18 Wedding Chapel Price: $21,420.47 plus $1,695.69 shipping. Delivered by UPS “fully assembled” (which creates an interesting mental picture of the UPS guy in brown shorts pulling up with a fully assembled wedding chapel on the back of his truck.) No restrooms, however. Could be a deal breaker for some shoppers!
