Everyone’s all bent out of shape — but guess what — it’s not really illegal in Wisconsin

Long story short: a woman rented a limo and a hotel room for her 12 year old daughter’s birthday party. She served them “Mike’s Hard Lemonade” (A crime in itself, IMO), left a bunch of condoms around and jumped in the pool with her clothes on.

Skank, yes. Illegal — well, maybe. or maybe not.

Wisconsin is a state that really values it’s citizen’s right to drink whatever, and whenever they like. They have a law that allows parents to order booze served to their kids in any bar with impunity . The only thing this nitwit did wrong was not buying the kids a round of drinks at “Lucky Town Tap Room” instead of providing take-out drinks at the Hampton Inn.

Ok. I’m being a facetious. Milwaukee is a town of drinkers, and the baton is passed from generation to generation. This particular baton has rammed itself up the ass of this idiot mother — but personally, I think it should also be inserted into the rectums of the the parents who didn’t ask questions before they let their middle-school kids go to a co-ed hotel sleepover without asking questions and checking up throughout the night.

One Moron + more morons = lots of little morons.

Now we’re talking! Wisconsin State Legislature, are you listening?

Texas county to name drunk drivers on Twitter

IDG News Service – If you get busted for drunk driving in Montgomery County, Texas, this holiday season, your neighbors may hear about it on Twitter.

That’s because the local district attorney’s office has decided to publish the names of those charged with driving while intoxicated (DWI) between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

Wisconsin has the third highest drunk driving fatality rate, and the most lenient DWI laws in the country.

More information from the Wall Street Journal:

And: TotalDUI blog:

Milwaukee Journal Sentinal: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

The Unusable and Superficial World of Beer and Alcohol Websites – Smashing Magazine

The alcohol industry doesn’t have to even try to get it right. Their product sells itself, especially to people who can’t read, and are too drunk to use a QWERTY keyboard.

Because, in California, when they slap you on the wrist for drunk driving, you stay slapped!

LA Times reported on Oct. 6, 2009 that actor Mel Gibson went before a judge to have his infamous drunk driving conviction expunged from his record after completing the terms of his plea deal.

Think what you like about Mr. Gibson’s anti-Semitic leanings, his adulterous affairs, or his drain-circling acting career — The man paid his dues. His penalties for first-offense driving under the influence (called DUI in most places, OWI here in Wisconsin) included:

• Mandatory 48 hours jail time
• Loss of license for six months
• Drunk driving school (Fate worse than death for some people)
• Attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings (Not the usual penalty, but some judges can impose this)
• Perform in public service announcements (for free, yet. What actor wants to work for free?)
• $1,300 in fines (plus $1800 court costs)The going rate in California — not jacked up because he’s rich)
• Three years of “supervised probation”

Legal experts called the resolution fairly routine for a first-time DUI case in California that caused no injuries according the LA Times.

Compare that with a first-time DUI/OWI under current Wisconsin law

• First offenders are still handled in traffic court with the jaywalkers and the speeders. Wisconsin is still the only state that fails to treat drunken driving as a misdemeanor crime from the start. (All Business, Green Bay Press-Gazette (Wisconsin) Tuesday, September 1 2009
• First offense OWI / DUI with a BAC of .08 or more, but less than .10, there is no surcharge or other additional fees. (Mr. Gibson was reported to have a BAC of .11)
• Over .10 is subject to a fine of $150 to $300, plus an OWI surcharge of $355, and license revocation from 6 to 9 months.
• But wait! If you really want to keep driving, no problems, Mate: On a first OWI / DUI offense, a person is immediately eligible to apply for an occupational license. There is no waiting period. Just go down to the DMV and fill out a form.

In fact, smoke a little weed, pop some brewskis and crash a bus full of disabled people on Thanksgiving. Don’t even show up in court. No one will bother to arrest you.

Am I being overly critical? From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Regional News section:

Van driver fails to show up for sentencing
By Tom Kertscher of the Journal Sentinel

Aug. 28, 2009 | A man due to be sentenced for driving under the influence and crashing a van that carried disabled adults failed to appear in Milwaukee County Circuit Court on Thursday.

A warrant was issued for Paul G. Porter’s arrest, but it was stayed until next Wednesday, essentially giving the 34-year-old West Bend man a second chance to show up.

Porter pleaded guilty last month to causing injury while operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration, a misdemeanor. He had been drinking beer and smoking marijuana while transporting group home residents on Thanksgiving Day.

Porter’s blood-alcohol level of 0.24 was three times the level of 0.08 considered evidence of intoxication, according to Brown Deer police. The adults had been visiting their families on Thanksgiving Day. Porter picked them up and was returning them to their group home in Brown Deer. Mount Castle Corp., a Milwaukee company that runs residential facilities, said it fired Porter after the accident.

Police weren’t called until more than 90 minutes later, after two of the passengers walked a mile and a half to their group home. Mr. Porter had a full can of beer in his pocket before he was taken into custody.

See, it doesn’t pay to keep giving second chances. It sets a bad precedent–and it makes people like me think (just for a moment), “Well, if he can get away with it, why can’t I?”