Or I shall rise up from my bed of sorrows and smite you with a white-hot revenge, man.

1:19 am Monday night the phone rings.

Now, I live with my elderly parents who specifically DON’T have phones in their bedrooms. Why? Because someone with a lively personal life is apparently one digit away from their telephone number. Me, I’m still in the mindset of “Oh my Gosh. What if one of my kids got arrested and needs to get bailed out in the middle of the night?” or “What if my future-ex-husband was just nailed by a drunk driver and the hospital is calling to tell me I’m now a widow.” In other words, I ALWAYS answer the phone.

1:19 am I’m pulled from REM sleep by my phone. I bolt to answer, still remembering the downy kisses of–oh, never mind. “Hello?” “‘S Rog there?” “Huh? Who?” “Rog?” “Wrong number”, and I hang up.

But my mind does not hang up. I stare at the ceiling. I do Yoga. I eat crackers. I read my book. Two hours later, at 3:19 AM I’ve had enough. I pick up my phone and scroll down to my mystery caller’s ID, and hit dial.

When his cell phone prompts for a message (of course, and Rog’s friend is sleeping the good sleep of the non-introspective mind), I blurt, “How does it feel to get a call in the middle of the night because someone can’t dial the right number (beat) MORON!!” and I hang up.

If nothing else I got the last word. Ha. So there.

well, sort of . . .

Un Chien Bleu is number 17 on the NetworkedBlogsTop 31 Blogs in: Milwaukee list. (Whoo Hoo!)

Lets not talk about the number 31. It’s too weird to contemplate.

In fact, smoke a little weed, pop some brewskis and crash a bus full of disabled people on Thanksgiving. Don’t even show up in court. No one will bother to arrest you.

Am I being overly critical? From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Regional News section:

Van driver fails to show up for sentencing
By Tom Kertscher of the Journal Sentinel

Aug. 28, 2009 | A man due to be sentenced for driving under the influence and crashing a van that carried disabled adults failed to appear in Milwaukee County Circuit Court on Thursday.

A warrant was issued for Paul G. Porter’s arrest, but it was stayed until next Wednesday, essentially giving the 34-year-old West Bend man a second chance to show up.

Porter pleaded guilty last month to causing injury while operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration, a misdemeanor. He had been drinking beer and smoking marijuana while transporting group home residents on Thanksgiving Day.

Porter’s blood-alcohol level of 0.24 was three times the level of 0.08 considered evidence of intoxication, according to Brown Deer police. The adults had been visiting their families on Thanksgiving Day. Porter picked them up and was returning them to their group home in Brown Deer. Mount Castle Corp., a Milwaukee company that runs residential facilities, said it fired Porter after the accident.

Police weren’t called until more than 90 minutes later, after two of the passengers walked a mile and a half to their group home. Mr. Porter had a full can of beer in his pocket before he was taken into custody.

See, it doesn’t pay to keep giving second chances. It sets a bad precedent–and it makes people like me think (just for a moment), “Well, if he can get away with it, why can’t I?”

as long as their parents are with them

Yes. True. Wisconsin state law allows minors to drink in any bar as long as they are accompanied by a parent or spouse. of course, with prices what they are today, not too many parents are pouring $4 beers into their kids sippy cups–but it’s legal if they want to.

Rep. John Ainsworth (R-Shawano) has been trying since 2003 to change that law, but so far, no go. It’s hitting the headlines again, trying to change the law to only allow kids age 18 and older to drink in bars if accompanied by a parent or guardian. Why special permission is given to 18-year-olds when the law says you’re a minor until you’re 21 escapes my understanding, but hey, that’s Wisconsin for you. The state where binge drinking is a RIGHT, Gaddammit.

I grew up here, but I was still shocked to read the Journal-Sentinel forum, where “Scott” in West Bend says:

What about parental rights? Should it not be my decision on how to raise my child? In my opinion, this is another example of too much government involvement in personal choice issues.

or “Dan” in Port Washington (I think he’s serious):

What about the time honored tradition of deer hunting when a Father and Son {or Daughter] can share a beer and celebrate there first deer together and many other traditions that we have come to cherish. TO MUCH GOVERMENT

The state with the worst DUI and drunken driving deaths shows, once again, that they are a bunch of yaddering yahoo Ed-Gein-wannabees.

Another company wants to be my New Best Friend (for a fee)

One of my bookseller friends posted a link to ScanR, a for-pay web service that is heavily venture-capitalized. ScanR:

lets you use your camera phone or digital camera to scan, copy, and fax. To turn your paper documents into useful digital information, just take a photo and upload it to scanR. The scanR service produces clean copies of documents, whiteboards, and business cards; extracts text information; and creates a PDF file, electronic contact, or fax.

Ever the Early Adapter, I gave this one a whirl. Theoretically, you take a picture with your cell phone and email or text it to this service which cleans it up and converts it to a PDF, text file or Vcard that can be faxed, texted, emailed or added to your Outlook contacts.

It’s more a “Gee Whiz” toy unless you have to process many many documents a day. I have so many ‘niche’ programs and apps, that I forget which is which, and it’s getting tiresome to keep them straight. I tried it with a business card, which went into my contacts ok, but I could have typed it into Outlook faster.

Thoughts on use: Eh.

The free trial consists of two tries (one of which was wasted getting the options right). $5 a month or $30 a year (although they advertise “As little as $3 a month”.

The picture has to be very large — 1600×1024, which involved fiddling with my camera settings. I usually take phone pics at a thrifty 640×480. Now I have to set them back to that so I don’t accidentally send my friends giant pictures.

It didn’t recognize my Blackberry Storm, which was annoying and a little weird. Is there something wrong with my phone or are the ScanR folks a little behind the times?