Your mileage may vary

1. Bathroom safety bars are already installed
2. Your share of the rent is negligible because the mortgage is paid off
3. They admire you for knowing how to work all the remote controls
4. Dad does all of your laundry. “Hey, I ain’t doin’ anything else. I might as well do my share.”
5. Mombo is in bed by 6:30. Dad stays up ’til eight thirty
6. You can use their car mostly anytime, as long as you drive them to the doctors, WallMart, or Pik N Save
7. Somebody’s always home to answer the door.
8. When you fall off your knee walker in the garden, there’s someone to root you on as you struggle to your feet.
9. The freezer’s always full
10. There’s always pie!

I have enough mental problems without Verizon gaslighting me.

Trying to be a Good Little Monkey, I canceled my Fios service and dropped the converter boxes off at the UPS store, when I moved from New Jersey to Wisconsin in December.

My mail caught up with me in March. Verizon is still billing me $85.10 a month for December, January and March. Also, I now get letters and calls on my cell phone from a collection agency. Read the rest of this entry »

Part one of two: Wylie Coyote visits the DMV

I’m trying to be a good citizen, now. I moved to my home state from New Jersey and I dutifully went to the DMV for my Wisconsin driver’s license. My sister warned me that the DMV is infamous for sucking, but, Jeez—I’m from New Jersey. How bad could it be? Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s inductee to Chien Bleu’s list of many resentments, updated periodically.

Select catagory “Sucktards” to your right to see the complete list of dolts I hate.

If you’re on this list, I wish evil on you.

Read the rest of this entry »