Milwaukee Point 08

‘Tis the season to — well, to turn your back on your fellow man, apparently

Cudahy has been in the news lately because their Plan Commission rejected an attempt by a volunteer group to open a homeless shelter. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that one of the Commissioners (unidentified) called homeless people “Stinky” and “Drunk” and suggested they be sent to Milwaukee.

Cudahy is a south-side suburb of Milwaukee with a preponderance of white, Polish, Christian, blue collar residents. In 2009, a couple of drunken brothers, Cudahy residents, shot a military-grade green star cluster marker flare into the Patrick Cudahy Meatpacking Plant in 2009, causing $50 million in damage, making hundreds homeless and putting more than 1,000 people out of work. Both got a suspended sentence, three years of probation and 500 hours of community service. But if someone is a mentally ill substance abuser, AND sleeping under the freeway instead of a house they (or their parents) paid good money for, well — that’s a different story. Not in my backyard, pal.

The good news is, local churches rallied together to set up an informal revolving life-line of “All-Night Prayer Meetings” to give people a place to sleep (and maybe pray) during our notably hellacious winter storms. I worked for a Methodist church in New Jersey that regularly participated in round-robin homeless hosting, and I’m glad to see the idea touching down here in Wisconsin — It takes guts to do what’s right, just because it’s right. As an atheist, I’ve faced that issue for many years, and I hope this Holiday Season will incite others to donate time, money and effort to the churches involved, including Tippecanoe Presbyterian Church, and Nativity of the Lord Jesus Parish

Your cows are on fire, Milwaukee!

So are your schools, your infrastructure, your tax base and your relationship with the future. Your fourth grade African-American boys have the lowest reading scores in the nation!

Leap into the 21st Century, Milwaukee!

It used to be, parents didn’t have to think about college for their kids. Hey. Allis Chalmers is hiring. Get a factory job. And them college guys are just a bunch of snotty assholes, right? Right? They should quit trying to be so smart.

The truth is, being dumb can bite you in the ass. You’ll get parted from your money faster than a $50 hooker can take off her underpants. It’s in the paper every day–someone doesn’t do their job right, and no one is smart enough to notice. Some creepy pervert is in a position of power and, when the truth comes out, everyone goes, “Jeez. He seemed like a regular guy, ainit?”

When some gubbmint agency says, Okay, guys. We’ll help you out with money to build a modern train line so you can tie into the rest of the Midwest, ship products and get jobs. People go, “WTF do we need a train for? We got cars and we can drive to Madison if we want to go? Anyways, give us back our tax money so we can spend it on what WE want.”

That would be okay if Wisconsinites proved they can be relied upon to use their own money wisely. Say they were to charge higher taxes for the things that hurt us, like beer and cigarettes. Say, they made people wear motorcycle and bicycle helmets, and treated OWI like a crime so the public doesn’t have to pick up the overages when folks get drunk and drive into a tree. Say,–oh, I don’t know–say they stopped acting like a bunch of farm hands and got out a little. Maybe, at least, pretended they want to be part of the rest of the world.

We could be so great, Milwaukee. We’ve got potential. Put down the remote; Step away from the beer; Be smart and go for it!

Maybe not a surprise, since incumbent Feingold is a Democrat, but Hey! It’s the New York Times!

The editorial page on October 13, 2010 (page A22 in my regional edition) was titled “Uphill in Wisconsin” about the current Senate race between Mr. Feingold and Ron Johnson. It said, in part:

Mr. Feingold’s independent mind, and his refusal to follow the big-money line on issues like trade, campaign finance and Wall Street reform, should have endeared him to Tea Party members and other independents who are angry at Washington conformists. If they had taken the time to listen.

Instead, they are supporting Mr. Johnson, a wealthy plastics manufacturer unknown to them six months ago. Mr. Johnson says he had long believed government restricted business and individual liberties (we’re not clear which ones he has in mind) but decided to run for office when the health care bill was passed, claiming that President Obama was trying to create a socialist state.

My dear Tea Party Republican, Mombo, nearly had a stroke when Dad read parts of the editorial to her. You may have heard a distant wail “THEY SAID WHAAAAAAAAAT???” in the distance about 10:15 am on October 13, 2010.

My personal thoughts are:

Ron Johnson is an out-of-touch corporate rich guy who is benefiting from the new laws that allow big money to stream unlimited campaign dollars to preferred candidates. He believes that global warming is caused by sunspots. He thinks embryonic stem cell research should be banned. He opposes the health care bill on the grounds that it will cause “too much paperwork for small businesses”. He thinks his political attack ads are a free speech issue. Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” has been a driving force in his political philosophy.

In short, the guy’s a dangerous looney who couldn’t buy a clue if I gave a him a dollar and a Google map. But please, don’t take my word for anything. Make up your own mind.

Happy Happy! Joy Joy! World record pumpkin grown in New Richmond, Wisconsin!

Yeah, yeah–I’m a giant pumpkin geek. I follow the annual international giant pumpkin contests and am a fan of the International Giant Vegetable Growers Association.

This year the biggest pumpkin EVER was grown by Chris Stevens of New Richmond, WI, as recorded at the Stillwater Harvest Fest in Minnesota this October 2010. And don’t start complaining that it’s technically NOT a ‘pumpkin’ as American Trick-or-Treaters know it–it’s a “Great Atlantic Gourd”, but it sure looks pumpkin-ey, so whatever.

Wisconsin may have the worst reading scores for 4th grade Black boys. We may have about the highest number of drunk driver deaths in the nation. We may be (I admit) one of the fattest states in the Union–But, by God! When it comes to PUMPKINS we rule!

Milwaukee’s proactive response to new federal street sign rules will cost $1.4M (eventually)

Tight-fisted residents expressed outrage and dismay (including Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Jim Stingl) at plans to comply with MUTCD’s new state-mandated guidelines.

City Public Works commissioner, Jeff Mantes, announced plans to replace street signs that don’t meet the new rules for readability and reflectivity. Not right away, mind you–The effort is spaced out over four years. And not all signs—just the ones that were going to be replaced anyways because they are getting old. New, more readable signs that you can see in the dark. Wow!

Online posters seem fixated on the cost ($1.4M!) and the new font rules (upper AND lower case!). People who never go anywhere and don’t read might not realize that Milwaukee has actually done a fairly good job keeping up with trendy signage updates (Signs installed since the 1990′s already meet the guidelines). They may not realize that New York City will have to spend $27M to replace every freakin’ sign in the five boroughs because they never replace any signs, unless a taxi, truck or water main bursting knock one down.

The new sign style will cost the same as the old font style, so what’s the problem? Perhaps the City Department of Public works shouldn’t have sent an email out announcing plans to spend $350,000 a year to replace signs that were going to be replaced anyway at the same cost. Sounds more like a budget line item adjustment to me.

Mequon businessman takes his constitutional right to drive drunk to the Supreme Court—and beyond

Let’s say you’re a retired businessman in Wisconsin with a lot of time on your hands. What do you do with yourself?

First you get drunk. Next you hire a lawyer.

Richard M. Fischer of Mequon got busted for his second drunk driving offense in 2005. In Wisconsin, that’s the legal equivalent of your Mommy waving her finger in your face going “Tsk, tsk.” Most guys do the five days and vow to better next time. Not Mr. Fisher. He hired James Shellow, a lawyer who specializes in getting drug dealers, armed robbers, embezzlers, child pornographers and murderers off the swinging rusty hook of justice. It paid off for them when a US Magistrate Judge ruled that Fischer’s constitutional rights were violated because he couldn’t bring in a special expert to his jury trial. This was after the Supreme court ruled in February that it’s a good idea to get drunken drivers off the road, and Mr. Fischer was a drunken driver–so there.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel October 4, 2010.

Fischer’s lawyer was using the trendy “Rising Curve Defense” where the driver’s test results at the scene are compared to the results taken later in the police station. The hope is that an incline in blood alcohol level may indicate that the accused may not have been quite exactly legally drunk a half hour earlier when he was arrested. This requires special experts to be hired by the defense and the state, causing huge expense to the people of Wisconsin.

Like the kid who kills his parents and appeals to the court because he is an orphan, Mr’s Sellow and Fischer claim it’s all about the 6th Amendment. “My client decided the constitutional issue . . .  was so important, not only to him and not only in (this) drunk-driving case, but in other cases, too. He felt it was important enough to take it as far as it could go, so he did,” Shellow said.