Milwaukee Point 08

Your cows are on fire, Milwaukee!

So are your schools, your infrastructure, your tax base and your relationship with the future. Your fourth grade African-American boys have the lowest reading scores in the nation!

Leap into the 21st Century, Milwaukee!

It used to be, parents didn’t have to think about college for their kids. Hey. Allis Chalmers is hiring. Get a factory job. And them college guys are just a bunch of snotty assholes, right? Right? They should quit trying to be so smart.

The truth is, being dumb can bite you in the ass. You’ll get parted from your money faster than a $50 hooker can take off her underpants. It’s in the paper every day–someone doesn’t do their job right, and no one is smart enough to notice. Some creepy pervert is in a position of power and, when the truth comes out, everyone goes, “Jeez. He seemed like a regular guy, ainit?”

When some gubbmint agency says, Okay, guys. We’ll help you out with money to build a modern train line so you can tie into the rest of the Midwest, ship products and get jobs. People go, “WTF do we need a train for? We got cars and we can drive to Madison if we want to go? Anyways, give us back our tax money so we can spend it on what WE want.”

That would be okay if Wisconsinites proved they can be relied upon to use their own money wisely. Say they were to charge higher taxes for the things that hurt us, like beer and cigarettes. Say, they made people wear motorcycle and bicycle helmets, and treated OWI like a crime so the public doesn’t have to pick up the overages when folks get drunk and drive into a tree. Say,–oh, I don’t know–say they stopped acting like a bunch of farm hands and got out a little. Maybe, at least, pretended they want to be part of the rest of the world.

We could be so great, Milwaukee. We’ve got potential. Put down the remote; Step away from the beer; Be smart and go for it!

Maybe not a surprise, since incumbent Feingold is a Democrat, but Hey! It’s the New York Times!

The editorial page on October 13, 2010 (page A22 in my regional edition) was titled “Uphill in Wisconsin” about the current Senate race between Mr. Feingold and Ron Johnson. It said, in part:

Mr. Feingold’s independent mind, and his refusal to follow the big-money line on issues like trade, campaign finance and Wall Street reform, should have endeared him to Tea Party members and other independents who are angry at Washington conformists. If they had taken the time to listen.

Instead, they are supporting Mr. Johnson, a wealthy plastics manufacturer unknown to them six months ago. Mr. Johnson says he had long believed government restricted business and individual liberties (we’re not clear which ones he has in mind) but decided to run for office when the health care bill was passed, claiming that President Obama was trying to create a socialist state.

My dear Tea Party Republican, Mombo, nearly had a stroke when Dad read parts of the editorial to her. You may have heard a distant wail “THEY SAID WHAAAAAAAAAT???” in the distance about 10:15 am on October 13, 2010.

My personal thoughts are:

Ron Johnson is an out-of-touch corporate rich guy who is benefiting from the new laws that allow big money to stream unlimited campaign dollars to preferred candidates. He believes that global warming is caused by sunspots. He thinks embryonic stem cell research should be banned. He opposes the health care bill on the grounds that it will cause “too much paperwork for small businesses”. He thinks his political attack ads are a free speech issue. Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” has been a driving force in his political philosophy.

In short, the guy’s a dangerous looney who couldn’t buy a clue if I gave a him a dollar and a Google map. But please, don’t take my word for anything. Make up your own mind.

Happy Happy! Joy Joy! World record pumpkin grown in New Richmond, Wisconsin!

Yeah, yeah–I’m a giant pumpkin geek. I follow the annual international giant pumpkin contests and am a fan of the International Giant Vegetable Growers Association.

This year the biggest pumpkin EVER was grown by Chris Stevens of New Richmond, WI, as recorded at the Stillwater Harvest Fest in Minnesota this October 2010. And don’t start complaining that it’s technically NOT a ‘pumpkin’ as American Trick-or-Treaters know it–it’s a “Great Atlantic Gourd”, but it sure looks pumpkin-ey, so whatever.

Wisconsin may have the worst reading scores for 4th grade Black boys. We may have about the highest number of drunk driver deaths in the nation. We may be (I admit) one of the fattest states in the Union–But, by God! When it comes to PUMPKINS we rule!

Don’t we deserve more than this?

True, newspapers are going out of fashion, but I’m an old-school newspaper girl. The New York Times is my current favorite, but I have a soft spot for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

No one admits to liking it. As a former newspaper reporter, I can see the internal workings and I realize why the season finale seems to be imminent. The factors are apathy and ignorance (bet you thought I’d say “money”? Well money congregates in the wake of interest, like seagulls following a fishing boat.)

PROBLEM ONE: People don’t subscribe. People don’t read. They are content to spend “Just ten minutes of your day” (recent TV news jingle) to get the bare minimum of information (Is the sky falling? Has a giant sinkhole appeared anywhere? Has “Fish Fry and a Flick” been canceled due to weather conditions?). Hey! It’s free, right?

PROBLEM TWO: It’s written like a bunch of high school journalism students got drunk one day and said “Hey, I know, let’s start a newspaper, eh?”

That brings us back to money. No one with newspaper experience will come to work for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, on purpose, to be a reporter. It doesn’t pay enough and it’s not a resume slam bang. However, that’s no excuse for shoddy workmanship, for not having copy of Strunk & White next to your computer, for not reading the national papers, for sloppy editing.

Here’s today’s example:

September 29, 2010 Local Section “Report Card on Charitable Giving” page B1; headline “Nonprofit outlook still dismal”

Cut to jump page, 6B headline “Charities slightly more optimistic”. Say, huh? Which is it, dismal or optimistic? Sloppy, sloppy sloppy.