Milwaukee Point 08

‘Tis the season to — well, to turn your back on your fellow man, apparently

Cudahy has been in the news lately because their Plan Commission rejected an attempt by a volunteer group to open a homeless shelter. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that one of the Commissioners (unidentified) called homeless people “Stinky” and “Drunk” and suggested they be sent to Milwaukee.

Cudahy is a south-side suburb of Milwaukee with a preponderance of white, Polish, Christian, blue collar residents. In 2009, a couple of drunken brothers, Cudahy residents, shot a military-grade green star cluster marker flare into the Patrick Cudahy Meatpacking Plant in 2009, causing $50 million in damage, making hundreds homeless and putting more than 1,000 people out of work. Both got a suspended sentence, three years of probation and 500 hours of community service. But if someone is a mentally ill substance abuser, AND sleeping under the freeway instead of a house they (or their parents) paid good money for, well — that’s a different story. Not in my backyard, pal.

The good news is, local churches rallied together to set up an informal revolving life-line of “All-Night Prayer Meetings” to give people a place to sleep (and maybe pray) during our notably hellacious winter storms. I worked for a Methodist church in New Jersey that regularly participated in round-robin homeless hosting, and I’m glad to see the idea touching down here in Wisconsin — It takes guts to do what’s right, just because it’s right. As an atheist, I’ve faced that issue for many years, and I hope this Holiday Season will incite others to donate time, money and effort to the churches involved, including Tippecanoe Presbyterian Church, and Nativity of the Lord Jesus Parish

Mequon businessman takes his constitutional right to drive drunk to the Supreme Court—and beyond

Let’s say you’re a retired businessman in Wisconsin with a lot of time on your hands. What do you do with yourself?

First you get drunk. Next you hire a lawyer.

Richard M. Fischer of Mequon got busted for his second drunk driving offense in 2005. In Wisconsin, that’s the legal equivalent of your Mommy waving her finger in your face going “Tsk, tsk.” Most guys do the five days and vow to better next time. Not Mr. Fisher. He hired James Shellow, a lawyer who specializes in getting drug dealers, armed robbers, embezzlers, child pornographers and murderers off the swinging rusty hook of justice. It paid off for them when a US Magistrate Judge ruled that Fischer’s constitutional rights were violated because he couldn’t bring in a special expert to his jury trial. This was after the Supreme court ruled in February that it’s a good idea to get drunken drivers off the road, and Mr. Fischer was a drunken driver–so there.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel October 4, 2010.

Fischer’s lawyer was using the trendy “Rising Curve Defense” where the driver’s test results at the scene are compared to the results taken later in the police station. The hope is that an incline in blood alcohol level may indicate that the accused may not have been quite exactly legally drunk a half hour earlier when he was arrested. This requires special experts to be hired by the defense and the state, causing huge expense to the people of Wisconsin.

Like the kid who kills his parents and appeals to the court because he is an orphan, Mr’s Sellow and Fischer claim it’s all about the 6th Amendment. “My client decided the constitutional issue . . .  was so important, not only to him and not only in (this) drunk-driving case, but in other cases, too. He felt it was important enough to take it as far as it could go, so he did,” Shellow said.

The perfect cultural meme for Milwaukee’s infatuation with fried foods and beer.

I’m not uncomfortable with the concept as much as I am that it appeared as “news” on the front page of The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, October 1, 2010.

Simple enough concept: freeze beer with gelatin to make solid balls. Roll into raviolis made with half crushed pretzels to keep the alcoholic goodness in. Fry for 20 seconds. Serve with so many side sauces you can’t taste anything and–Ta Da. “Fried beer’ worthy of “Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag”.

It’s not an inherently pathetic concept. It’s pathetic, of course, but the pathos blooms because this is not an original idea. It was introduced at the Texas State Fair this year–the undisputed Everest of weird fried foods.

But wait, isn’t this only a little pathetic, you may ask. Well, how about this for a LOT pathetic? The creator, Mark Zable, a Texas State Fair concessionaire who spent three years developing fried beer is copyrighting his invention, (well, wouldn’t you?). The Journal-Sentinel knew that, as did Chef Brian Frakes of “Miller Time Pub” at the Hilton Milwaukee City Center (a big advertiser with the JS).

Front page news? Unbiased reporting? Uh, No.

Encouraging gastronomic depravity and advertising revenue? Uh, yeah.

I reported on the concept of Wisconsin fetish for weird fried foods previously: Wisconsin State Fair 2010: Crispy-fried and served on a stick and Updates on Wisconsin’s love of “Food-on-a-stick.

Now we’re talking! Wisconsin State Legislature, are you listening?

Texas county to name drunk drivers on Twitter

IDG News Service – If you get busted for drunk driving in Montgomery County, Texas, this holiday season, your neighbors may hear about it on Twitter.

That’s because the local district attorney’s office has decided to publish the names of those charged with driving while intoxicated (DWI) between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

Wisconsin has the third highest drunk driving fatality rate, and the most lenient DWI laws in the country.

More information from the Wall Street Journal:

And: TotalDUI blog:

Milwaukee Journal Sentinal: Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Because, in California, when they slap you on the wrist for drunk driving, you stay slapped!

LA Times reported on Oct. 6, 2009 that actor Mel Gibson went before a judge to have his infamous drunk driving conviction expunged from his record after completing the terms of his plea deal.

Think what you like about Mr. Gibson’s anti-Semitic leanings, his adulterous affairs, or his drain-circling acting career — The man paid his dues. His penalties for first-offense driving under the influence (called DUI in most places, OWI here in Wisconsin) included:

• Mandatory 48 hours jail time
• Loss of license for six months
• Drunk driving school (Fate worse than death for some people)
• Attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings (Not the usual penalty, but some judges can impose this)
• Perform in public service announcements (for free, yet. What actor wants to work for free?)
• $1,300 in fines (plus $1800 court costs)The going rate in California — not jacked up because he’s rich)
• Three years of “supervised probation”

Legal experts called the resolution fairly routine for a first-time DUI case in California that caused no injuries according the LA Times.

Compare that with a first-time DUI/OWI under current Wisconsin law

• First offenders are still handled in traffic court with the jaywalkers and the speeders. Wisconsin is still the only state that fails to treat drunken driving as a misdemeanor crime from the start. (All Business, Green Bay Press-Gazette (Wisconsin) Tuesday, September 1 2009
• First offense OWI / DUI with a BAC of .08 or more, but less than .10, there is no surcharge or other additional fees. (Mr. Gibson was reported to have a BAC of .11)
• Over .10 is subject to a fine of $150 to $300, plus an OWI surcharge of $355, and license revocation from 6 to 9 months.
• But wait! If you really want to keep driving, no problems, Mate: On a first OWI / DUI offense, a person is immediately eligible to apply for an occupational license. There is no waiting period. Just go down to the DMV and fill out a form.

In fact, smoke a little weed, pop some brewskis and crash a bus full of disabled people on Thanksgiving. Don’t even show up in court. No one will bother to arrest you.

Am I being overly critical? From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Regional News section:

Van driver fails to show up for sentencing
By Tom Kertscher of the Journal Sentinel

Aug. 28, 2009 | A man due to be sentenced for driving under the influence and crashing a van that carried disabled adults failed to appear in Milwaukee County Circuit Court on Thursday.

A warrant was issued for Paul G. Porter’s arrest, but it was stayed until next Wednesday, essentially giving the 34-year-old West Bend man a second chance to show up.

Porter pleaded guilty last month to causing injury while operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration, a misdemeanor. He had been drinking beer and smoking marijuana while transporting group home residents on Thanksgiving Day.

Porter’s blood-alcohol level of 0.24 was three times the level of 0.08 considered evidence of intoxication, according to Brown Deer police. The adults had been visiting their families on Thanksgiving Day. Porter picked them up and was returning them to their group home in Brown Deer. Mount Castle Corp., a Milwaukee company that runs residential facilities, said it fired Porter after the accident.

Police weren’t called until more than 90 minutes later, after two of the passengers walked a mile and a half to their group home. Mr. Porter had a full can of beer in his pocket before he was taken into custody.

See, it doesn’t pay to keep giving second chances. It sets a bad precedent–and it makes people like me think (just for a moment), “Well, if he can get away with it, why can’t I?”