Your cows are on fire, Milwaukee!
So are your schools, your infrastructure, your tax base and your relationship with the future. Your fourth grade African-American boys have the lowest reading scores in the nation!
Leap into the 21st Century, Milwaukee!
It used to be, parents didn’t have to think about college for their kids. Hey. Allis Chalmers is hiring. Get a factory job. And them college guys are just a bunch of snotty assholes, right? Right? They should quit trying to be so smart.
The truth is, being dumb can bite you in the ass. You’ll get parted from your money faster than a $50 hooker can take off her underpants. It’s in the paper every day–someone doesn’t do their job right, and no one is smart enough to notice. Some creepy pervert is in a position of power and, when the truth comes out, everyone goes, “Jeez. He seemed like a regular guy, ainit?”
When some gubbmint agency says, Okay, guys. We’ll help you out with money to build a modern train line so you can tie into the rest of the Midwest, ship products and get jobs. People go, “WTF do we need a train for? We got cars and we can drive to Madison if we want to go? Anyways, give us back our tax money so we can spend it on what WE want.”
That would be okay if Wisconsinites proved they can be relied upon to use their own money wisely. Say they were to charge higher taxes for the things that hurt us, like beer and cigarettes. Say, they made people wear motorcycle and bicycle helmets, and treated OWI like a crime so the public doesn’t have to pick up the overages when folks get drunk and drive into a tree. Say,–oh, I don’t know–say they stopped acting like a bunch of farm hands and got out a little. Maybe, at least, pretended they want to be part of the rest of the world.
We could be so great, Milwaukee. We’ve got potential. Put down the remote; Step away from the beer; Be smart and go for it!