Milwaukee Point 08

The 2010 Census head count determines how many Congressmen each state gets.

In 2000, Wisconsin lost one seat. In 2010, it looks like we’ll stay the same. No thanks to the Conservative “Tea Party”.

When I was doing the census this year, some people didn’t want to cooperate. Often (usually) they were blue-collar Republican “Tea Party” conservatives who claimed exemption on constitutional grounds. This was very annoying from a census-takers view. We were obligated to go back and back and back until we got the info. It cost the government a lot of money, and in the end, worked against the them because:

1. Fewer participants means a lower headcount, which means fewer congressional seats and less money apportioned to heavily conservative districts for funds and services.
2. We can ask whatever we want because the U.S. Constitution empowers the Congress to carry out the census in “such manner as they shall by Law direct” (Article I, Section 2).

So Nyah Nyah. Glenn Beck, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), Dr. Ron Paul. Good luck in the future.

The perfect cultural meme for Milwaukee’s infatuation with fried foods and beer.

I’m not uncomfortable with the concept as much as I am that it appeared as “news” on the front page of The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, October 1, 2010.

Simple enough concept: freeze beer with gelatin to make solid balls. Roll into raviolis made with half crushed pretzels to keep the alcoholic goodness in. Fry for 20 seconds. Serve with so many side sauces you can’t taste anything and–Ta Da. “Fried beer’ worthy of “Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag”.

It’s not an inherently pathetic concept. It’s pathetic, of course, but the pathos blooms because this is not an original idea. It was introduced at the Texas State Fair this year–the undisputed Everest of weird fried foods.

But wait, isn’t this only a little pathetic, you may ask. Well, how about this for a LOT pathetic? The creator, Mark Zable, a Texas State Fair concessionaire who spent three years developing fried beer is copyrighting his invention, (well, wouldn’t you?). The Journal-Sentinel knew that, as did Chef Brian Frakes of “Miller Time Pub” at the Hilton Milwaukee City Center (a big advertiser with the JS).

Front page news? Unbiased reporting? Uh, No.

Encouraging gastronomic depravity and advertising revenue? Uh, yeah.

I reported on the concept of Wisconsin fetish for weird fried foods previously: Wisconsin State Fair 2010: Crispy-fried and served on a stick and Updates on Wisconsin’s love of “Food-on-a-stick.

Don’t we deserve more than this?

True, newspapers are going out of fashion, but I’m an old-school newspaper girl. The New York Times is my current favorite, but I have a soft spot for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

No one admits to liking it. As a former newspaper reporter, I can see the internal workings and I realize why the season finale seems to be imminent. The factors are apathy and ignorance (bet you thought I’d say “money”? Well money congregates in the wake of interest, like seagulls following a fishing boat.)

PROBLEM ONE: People don’t subscribe. People don’t read. They are content to spend “Just ten minutes of your day” (recent TV news jingle) to get the bare minimum of information (Is the sky falling? Has a giant sinkhole appeared anywhere? Has “Fish Fry and a Flick” been canceled due to weather conditions?). Hey! It’s free, right?

PROBLEM TWO: It’s written like a bunch of high school journalism students got drunk one day and said “Hey, I know, let’s start a newspaper, eh?”

That brings us back to money. No one with newspaper experience will come to work for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, on purpose, to be a reporter. It doesn’t pay enough and it’s not a resume slam bang. However, that’s no excuse for shoddy workmanship, for not having copy of Strunk & White next to your computer, for not reading the national papers, for sloppy editing.

Here’s today’s example:

September 29, 2010 Local Section “Report Card on Charitable Giving” page B1; headline “Nonprofit outlook still dismal”

Cut to jump page, 6B headline “Charities slightly more optimistic”. Say, huh? Which is it, dismal or optimistic? Sloppy, sloppy sloppy.

Hundreds of thousands of people are being laid off by the census bureau. Whether or not they qualify for  unemployment? It’s an alchemical art.

Even though federal employees are covered for unemployment insurance under the Unemployment Compensation for Federal Employees program and you don’t even have deductions taken out to pay for it, they are bound by the eligibility rules of the state they worked in.

In Wisconsin, where I worked for the census bureau from March til August, the rules are really arcane. Now pay close attention:

Benefit amounts and eligibility are based on the first four of the last five quarters prior to the start of your claim — unless you don’t have enough wages to qualify for a claim based on that formula, in which case, you use the ‘alternate base period‘ method. The alternate period is the four most recently completed calendar quarters prior to the start of your claim,  where your wages must be at least 35 times your weekly benefit rate AND your wages equal at least 4 times your weekly benefit rate outside the highest quarter.

Got it?

It took four phone calls with wait times of up to 40 minutes to determine that I need to reapply in October (when the next quarter begins) to have my last quarter (July and August) considered as part of the formula.

And as my passionately-right-wing Republican,  Fox-News-Network-loving Mom noted: “What are people supposed to do if they need that money to live?

The Wisconsin State Fair is over, but the passion for gastro-intestinally challenging food rolls on!

The battle rages! Creme puffs VS Food-on-a-Stick? Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers VS Philly Cheese Steak on a Stick?

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel is covering this issue assiduously, as usual for this paper’s coverage of all things edible or drinkable. Some of Un Chien Bleu’s favorite comments on the subject:

JimmyBruce 1:04 PM I bet the overweight people would eat a deep fried stick on a stick.

tmprmtl – Aug 04, 2010 Totally deep fry the cream puff! Wow! Otherwise there is too much other choices to waste room on a cream puff, which is why the to-go boxes for them rock. New food is a deep fried chili dog and a cheeseburger that has crispy kreme donuts instead of a bun. Not feeling that one.

klisch – Aug 12, 2010 I’m waiting for the deep fried salad on a stick.

nicktoria – Aug 10, 2010
My boyfriend had the Krispy Kreme cheeseburger. He loved it. He put on plenty of mustard, ketchup and had a field day. Funny how the ambulance was sitting outside most of the time.

Wisconsinites love their annual State Fair–a veritable orgy of beer, fried food, and things “on-a-stick”.

This year’s top novelty was the “Krispy Kreme” donut cheeseburger, at $5 for 1000 sweet, salty and greasy calories–plus another $1 for the chocolate covered bacon garnish. Whoo Hoo. Yes. Really. A Krispy Kreme donut as the bun with an overcooked piece of beef, processsed American cheese-food and chocolate-dipped bacon-on-a-stick garnish for an extra $1.00. I get a little eeky when I see people feeding it to their babies, but wash it down with a brewski and you’re in Wisconsin, BABY! More here at Milwaukee-Journal Sentinel online

“Food on a Stick” photo essay

Click on thumbnail to enlarge.
“(c)2010 by Annie Alpert”

From Crispy-fried food on-a-stick, posted by Annie Alpert on 8/09/2010 (9 items)

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