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If you like to get stinking blotto drunk Wisconsin’s the state for you.

I’m new in town, after 30-some years away, and I stand outside the collective conciousness. No one here likes to admit it, but there’s not much to do in this state except drink, so everyone drinks. They drink in restaurants, theaters, taverns, bars, clubs, parties. They drink after work, on the weekends, at night, on holidays, at Baptisms, birthday parties, weddings and convenience store openings. They even drink—God help us all—at the Milwaukee Public Museum. “Food and Froth Fest”.

WTF Milwaukee? Your museum is so pathetic you have to get people drunk to get them to visit it?

And what do these people do after they drink? Well, they drive home, of course. More